Dancing With The Devil & Other Recipes For Courage
Dancing with the devil
I’m doing a slow grind
Dancing with the devil
Feels like I’m losing my mind
Oh I’m waist deep
in the mud
I’m half asleep
Just because
-”Dancing With The Devil”
from the upcoming hybrid memoir “Lost & Found” by Pyeng Threadgill
Do you ever have those thoughts when singing like “Ugh, I sound terrible!”, “Why does it sound like I have something stuck in my throat?”, “How long is it going to take before I really like the way sound?” It’s not easy building the inner resilience to withstand days and nights of refining your voice and singing. You’ve probably started the work to strengthen your voice but from time to time fall off of the wagon to your full self-expression.
As often as self-doubt may arise (and can be disappointing and even depressing), sometimes there’s a little part of that hopeless feeling that just feels good. In the same way that it feels good to skip going to the gym and watch tv instead. Sometimes you just have to embrace the devil. In much the same way that many people throughout the US and abroad will be dressing up as alter egos this weekend for Halloween, there is something empowering and luscious about dancing with the devil. And by the devil I mean that split consciousness we all have. In African mythology the devil isn’t usually seen as an all or nothing entity. In African mythology the devil is often a trickster luring us towards temptation to often wake us up and or strengthen our inner resolve.
In more recent years I have gone from trying to suppress all negative thoughts all the time to wondering “Is there some part of this that I actually secretly enjoy?”… because if there is, maybe they could serve me. For example when I surrender to the sound of my voice in the moment, I actually can connect more deeply with the music and my body. I also stop fighting what I still want to improve about my voice. Add a dose of movement and you have a secret remedy for performing.
So should you feel called to “dance with the devil,” or find more freedom through embracing your full voice, you might be interested in my upcoming voice and movement program entitled The Embodied Artist Program. Email to find out more!